Thursday, July 12, 2007

changing times


Today, the world is going through a drastic change. Both husband and wife go to work. Today, the responsibility of bringing up the child is not just with the mother, but also with the father. Earlier the father’s duty was to earn money for the house and the mother’s duty was to look after the child, today the scenario is totally different. With women’s education growing by leaps and bounds, and the increasing expenses, even the lady at home goes to work. Both husband and wife are equally well educated and at equally high posts. So, even at home they have equal responsibility of bringing up the children. Today, in no way is the husband at a position higher than the wife. If the husband is a president of the company then the wife is also a senior manager in another company. If the husband has to travel a lot on work then the wife is also out all day long working. In such situations both husband and wife have equal responsibilities of taking care of the children. If they both are working, then they consider having a child as a big responsibility. Today the number of couples who don’t want children is fast increasing. And in live in relationships there is no question of children.

In such families, if a daughter is born, then her upbringing is completely in the hands of both the parents. The mother naturally knows how to bring up the child, but today even the father should know how to take care of the child. Now the question arises “ how will the father learn to take care of his daughter?” will he be her natural tender self, or will he bring her up in a tough way because he is a man. In the recent times this is a growing challenge for men.

Today there are several books available in the market, which help the father prepare himself for this new responsibility. In such a situation, the daughter learns things naturally from the father. The father cannot take the mother’s place, but he can easily inculcate good values in his daughter. Over a period of time, the father influences the daughter. The daughter notices that the father’s decision is the final decision in every matter. She naturally learns to take her own decisions. She does not depend on others for her small needs. She is not afraid of anything and is bold like boys. Children seem to notice everything that the father does. If the father talks rudely then the daughter also learns to talk that way. In such cases, the father has to be very careful. He is a role model for this daughter. Her father from a very young age itself influences the daughter. Until the age of 5, the father is a hero for his daughter. Her daddy is the best and can do anything in this world. Nobody in this world is like her dad. Between the age of 5 and 10 she likes her dad but finds him very strict. As she attains maturity, she begins to distance herself from her dad. Here she needs her mother more than anybody else. With the physical and emotional changes that she is undergoing she finds her dad like a jailer. She does not like restrictions and the father tries to impose restrictions on her. The daughter begins to look at her father’s disciplinary nature as sternness and she begins to oppose him. She enjoys arguing with him. Dad is now Hitler for her in her late teens. She does not like talking to him. But with growing age she understands the need for a father and begins to like her dad once again. While choosing her hero, she looks for a reflection of dad in him. She begins to compare her hero and her dad and once again she becomes very close to her dad. She has a very emotional relationship with her dad. Her daddy once again becomes her hero.

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